chocolate

I'm stuffing chocolate in mouth, as much as i can take, in in in. It's sickening sweet, dripping down my throat, coating my tongue. I can't take it, I'm not hungry, yet I stuff it in to try to avoid that which cannot be solved by stuffage. When you think about it, hunger is so easy to solve, the action of eating requires only someway of getting food into mouth. Yet we go hungry, we go hungry because we do not have food, we go hungry because we have no time to eat, we go hungry because we diet, we go hungry because we are not satisfied. I just downed a bar of Hershey's chocolate, yet I am still hungry. Hungry for answers to things that cannot be solved through simple arithmatic or logic. Hungry for somone to tell me what I'm living for, for I have no answers. Is life just a series of moments? Or is there a meaning to the time between conception and death? We are all trying to maximize our happiness, but why do we build and innovate and explore, just to realize that the universe is contracting on us and eventually we and all our people will be nil? Is the act of living, breathing, laughing, loving, enough reason for life? I used to not think so, but perhaps it is. Sometimes I think I can live on that alone, that feeling of utter joy and warmth, when you realize that you are not alone in this stark world of hierachy and frustration. That feeling when you can sit next to someone and share a cup of hot chocolate, watching your reflections multiple into infinity in the mirrors, thinking of nothing, yet content to just be. The one moment where my mind can relax and not think about the future and the past, about things that do not exist, yet I extrapolate them from expressions and words, turning nothing into everything. I know all this, but I still let my imagination serve as the proof, let my mind's mush dictate my life, not my heart. I stuff chocolate into my mouth, hoping to reach back to that moment of warmth and chocolate, where I let my heart grow.
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Categories: Daily